What I want in a woman or girl for a dating or lifetime relationship.

[TLA]

I've been dating younger black girls for almost two years now. For the record I'm going to be 60 in a week and I have enough so I don't have to work. I can't live large but I don't have to work. Yeah, I'm kinda old, no longer cute but I'm smart. Don't even begin to think I believe these youg girls went out with me because I so cute. It's the benjamins they liked. I'm smart enough to know that's the only reason they ever dated me, at least at first for a couple of them.

Having ghetto girls for girlfriends and dating them is a real pain in the ass. I love black girls dearly but damn, ghetto girls are almost everything I want in a girl and at the same time everything I hate. None of these seet young things like quiet times, none are reliable, trustworthy, honest or loyal. They are the most uneven tepmered, illogical people I've ever met and the biggest drama queens I know. Yet I continue to date these types of girls over and over. I love dating these girls as they make me feel alive. Challenged but alive but I have an inability to put up with their brand of BS for very long. I'm dumbe enough to keep thinking the next one will be different but she never is in the end.

There are even a couple of them I would have married but they couldn't quite understand why I was interested in them or believe I could like them as much as I did just because I knew who they really were wand where they were from. The rest I dated were just filler and someone to date. One of them I loved more than I've loved anyone and considered the unthinkable. Someone I actually wanted to have a child with. Never met anyone I considered having a child with before.

They did make me think about one thing tho and that's what I want in a woman. I don't expect I'll ever find it but it's what I want.

I want a girl who isn't afraid to walk around the house in her satin bikini or thong panties. Who loves to wear really sexy lingerie and who wants to look as beautiful as she possibly can, for me, at all times but not be afraid to let me see her without the makeup and hairdo and nails, etc. In other words she must be pretty secure with herself but still want to look good for me. However she needs to understand that sometimes it's fun get dirty and musn't be afraid of getting dirty now and then.

The next girl I go out with or date must be skinny or average. No really overweight allowed but thick is okay.
Hair should be at least slightly below the shoulders or longer. Prefer very dark or brunette and long.
I prefer black girls for their attitudes but color is not an issue at all. Girls are girls and that's that.
Big eyes are a plus as are big lips.
Breasts should be small to very small.
NO Silicone breast are acceptable.
Girls who think of themselves as submissive needn't bother to reply unless they are 100% submissive at all times and all places.
Sarcasm and cynicsm are a plus.
Intelligent with a quick mind.
Should be a petite/short girl or really tall and wear heels. I'm short and I love the contrast.
She needs to be pretty.
She must be able to take care of herself. By that I mean have her own place and be able to pay her own bills and run her own household.
She should be between 21-55.
She needs to be soft spoken and like quiet times.
She must be honest, RELIABLE, trustworthy and loyal.
She must be somehwhat even tempered and able to express her feelings without being angry.
No drama queens.
No crack smokers, coke or meth users.
No alcoholics.
She must be more logical than emotional most of the time but able to show her vulnerable side.
She must not get upset when I require time alone and I do require time alone.
She should also like cuddling up with me frequently but not always.
She should also be my best friend and I should be hers.
Thanks to the black girls I dated she must also like smoothe R and B.


Most of these requirements are not written in stone however there are two that must be met. She must be a skinny or not to much overweight girl and she should be intelligent. Hair color, eye color, height, eye and lip size don't really matter and are just what I would prefer. Breasts shouldn't be large but again it's just my preference but absolutely no girls with silicone enhanced breasts. While I don''t have much interest in anyone under 30 if you meet most of the criteria I'd consider it and the more of the criteria you meet the harder I'll consider it, at least if you're 18 or over. However it's not likely we'll have much in common.

I'm not a real fan of submissive girls because most of them aren't submissive, they just think they are. Being truly submissive means you do what you are told, when you are told and where you are told. Lol, you'll also need to trust that I won't make you do anything in public that will cause a felony. I will test you with something embarrasing in public just to test your submissivness. If you fit that description then email me now! If you don't then just don't bother me.

I guess my favorite type of woman would be a bit on the agressive side in most things. Neutral is wishy washy and you already know how I feel about submissive. Not so overly aggresive that she wants to dominate. Lol, that would be funny and might even be fun to try but I've never been dominated by anyone before and I don't believe it's possible. I suspect we'd just argue, a lot.

No health nuts allowed. I smoke, I eat fat food and I seldom exercise. Worse yet I've been known to smoke a joint now and then. If I could quit smoking I would but the other two will never change. The way I see it I can trade a bit shorter life for a lot happier life right now and it's a tradeoff I'm willing to make. IOW it's a quality of life issue in my mind. Besides, my cholesterol is normal. Another thing I don't do is wear seat belts nor motorcycle helmets although the helmet thing could change.

I like to fish, travel, read, mess with the net and watch TV. My favorite activities are eating, napping and getting long massages. I started getting massages in over a year ago and found out how great they are. Now I can't live without them. Highly addictive to say the least. I've never given a massage like I get and that's something I want to do before I die.

Just a random thought but it's kinda like I'm describing an old hippie girl except for the fact that I want her younger than an old hippie girl. Unfortunatley for me I love dating and being around younger people. My mind still think It's somewhere around 21 and I find people my age to be depressing, uptight and rigid to say the least. I'd rather date women or girls at least a generation younger than me and two is even better.

For any of you ladies, women or girls of dating age who might be reading this. Not that I think anyone is really reading this at all but just in case, here's something for you to think about. Do you want a man or a boy? Do you even know the difference. A man does the right thing whether you are with them or not and a boy only does the right thing when you are with them. Keep that in mind next time you are thinking about having a relationship or dating someone. Stay away from boys unless you are a masochistic, drama queen.

I doubt there is anyone out there who meets all of my criteria let alone most of them so I don't really expect to find anyone and the dating lunacy will continue. Lol, I am traveling the country for awhile so if you meet the majority of my expectations shoot me an email, tell me about yourself, and if I'm around your area maybe I'll give you a call. At the moment I'm in the southern midwest. you can email me at ib9ub6@gmail.com The email address is a joke. If you 96 you are back to back. If you didnt get that you aren't to smart. Besides, I want to 77. YOU get ate/eight, more. Hurts my neck after 20 minutes tho. ROTF

[Mr Lee]

You don't really belive you are going to find a woman like what you are describing, do you? If you do you are a fool. Reading between the lines it seems that a lot of the girls you've been dating just care about one thing, Money!

If you were smart you'd not be dating the same types of girls all the time but would learn from your experiences. Ghetto girls are just that, ghetto girls. That's how they are. Get over it and find a nice girl.

If you really expected any replies to this you probably should have told the people more about yourself.

Einsten said The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. That's what it seems like you are doing. Stop dating silly little girls and find a woman you have more in common with.

[TLA]

Lol, you're probably right, I should change the types of women I've been dating. Problem is other women aren't near as much fun, at lest most of the time. When the girl and I get along there isn't anyting better because everything is unpredictable and we can do anything.

You are also right that I should have included more information about me but if there is anything anyone wants to know, all they have to do is ask. I'll answer, and answer honestly, any question anyone asks me. Sometimes the answers will be shocking and sometimes they'll be mundane but they will be truthful.

As I said, I don't expect to find someone like I described and thats why I date chicks and that's why I'm dating them as often as possible. A lot of times I will reject a person for dating on the phone because they just aren't smart enough or fast enough to keep up.

There's one girl I date very infrequently but if I don't see her for 6 months we can still pick up a conversation right where we left off and we have a ton of inside jokes that only need a word or a look for the other person to get. She has a quick mind and and gets my quirky sense of humor. We like each other so much that it scares the hell out of both of us and when we get together it's very intense. Problem is we want very different things from life. Lol, yeah, she's young too but dating her now and then is the most fun of all the girls I've dated. To bad for us and we both know that. If we spent to much time together we'd run off and get married and that would kill the great friends relationship we do have.

[SuzyQ]

r u crazy? u must be some kind of idiot 2 even put something like this on the web. I don't no 1 girl who would go out with u with the attitude u have. u must not like females at all and if you posted something similar on a free dating service u wood never get a date. not ever not even on an adult dating site. u prob cant pay girls 2 go out wit u.

y r u only dating black girls dont u like other girls? y r u against girls who are overweight. u r a male chauvinist pig imo. u shud go back to the stone age wher u b long. fat girls r fun 2 and so r plane girls.

u want smart girls but smart girls wood not hav anything 2 do wit u. u is just a stupid old man who should prob be use russian dating services but they prob 2 smart 2 want u. go find a cave girl & leave nice yung girls alone u old fool. u wil nevr get what u want.

[TLA]

Suzy, suzy, suzy you know we don't all get what we want. If you got everything you wanted I'm sure you;d be pretty, smart, intelligen and rich instead of what you are now.

I put down a list of what I wanted and I even said that most of it was negotiable. All of it prob would be but there are to many needy, pyscho, freaky girl;s and women out there. Wow, that's probably why you are so angry about my post. It excluded you. Bummer.

I don't date people my own age because they are to set in their ways, seldom open to new things, closed minded and highly judgemental. I'd rather the opposite, of course that's with your permission. Lol, baby you couldn't handle me. You couldn't handle my independence and you sure couldn't dominate me. It's never been done and I doubt it will be.

Now why don't you take your fat, ugly dumbass stupity and crawl back under the rock you came from.

[TLA]

Hey SuzyQ and the other idiot. I will actually find a girlfriend that meets 90% of what I want. Even cynical old assholes can find what they are looking for if they know what they want. If you don't know what you want how do yoou know when you get it?

[TLA]

The whole point of this what I want in a woman thing was to state what I wanted in a woman that I'd want to have a relationship with and state it in a positive manner.

I don't inmagine anyone out there really wants a liar, cheat, thief or total slut for a girlfriend and that's what people always say. I don't want a girl who cheats on me or I don't want a girl who steals from me.

For your mind to give you what you want you have to state what you want and ask for what you want. You're more likely to get what you want by saying it in a positive manner. For instance, I want a girlfriend who is loyal as opposed to I don't want a girlfriend who cheats.

Saying thngs in a positive manner will always work better than saying things in a negative manner. Knowing what you want and how to ask for it are very important. Positive will always, always work better than the negative.

Try it for yourself. Turn things you want into a positive by saying what you really do want. Look for what you want, accept nothing less than what you want.

Simple rule, do say what you want, don't say what you don't want. Figure out a way to turn what you don't want(negative) into what you do want(positive). Try reversing the way you say things to yourself and others and see if your life doesn't get better and you end up with more of what you do want.

[TLA]

Just wait, because of some of the stuff I learned in the secret course  I'm going to post my perfect relationship next and the life that we will have together. The course teaches you to write out exactly what you want and in great detail so you can make it real to your own mind.

The wierd thing is I know that the perfect woman for me is out there and I know that the perfect relationship is possible for me.

Now y'all can think I'm stupid all you want but do you know exactly what you want or do you just have some vague wish in your mind. If you don't know exactly what you want how are you going to know when you find it. Lol, that just leads to taking the first chick that comes along and expresses an interest in you. I've been there and done that and it doesn't work out all that well so this time I'm going to be very picky.

I'd rather be happy and alone than unhappy and in a relationship just for having a woman around. While I love sex I figured out years ago it's not the most important thing in the world or in a relationship. While I want a female who meets all of my requirements she can be missing a few but she must be intelligent. Nowdays I'm more interested in a girls mind and her intellect than I am in her body. We can and will talk a hell of a lot longer than we can ever have sex.

I'm obviously not that great in bed tho because sometimes the chick talks while we're having sex and now and then we will even have a whole conversation during sex. Mind first, body second.

[TLA]

You can find  My idea of a perfect relationship with my perfect woman here. It's the next in this series. There will be more of these and all based on "The Secret" but not all will be about women or relationships.

[TLA]

I met a 28 year old girl the other day. She'd seen me twice, shopping at Wal-Mart but never spoke to me because she was afraid to. She has a friend working there that I flirt with when I'm at the checkout lane.

Lynn saw me checking out at her lane so asked her about me. She told her where I was staying and the way I filrted I didn't have a problem with black chicks.

I lay in the sun at the pool everyday and I met this dumbass who keeps bothering me and wanting to talk. You know the kind I mean, talks all the time and says nothing. Tried to attach himself to me like a freaking leech.

Turns out dumbass is a friend of Lynn's sister. He was talking to her sister about this old guy he met at the pool and Lynn overheard him. She asked him to introduce her to me.

So I get a knock on my door a few days ago. Woke me up from a nap and here's the dumb ass and a hot black chick. Body type was right so I thought she was cool. She came in and we talked for an hour before I took her home as her 9 yr old daughter was coming home from school

After our talk she seemed intelligent enough for me to continue so we made plans to go out later that night. She was going to have her brother in law drop her off after her daughter went to bed. She never showed up or called.

The next morning she was at my door at 9 AM with the excuse she couldn't call because my phone was long distance. Lol, she knows where I'm staying and my room number so it would have been a local call had she called the room. Said she never thought of it. Oops, slipped a few points in the brains dept.

We talked about an hour and a half and then she asked me if I would take her to run an errand. NP so off we went. Then she wanted to pick up a girlfriend so I said okay as it would give me an opportunity to see how she acted around her friends and what kind of friends she had.

We made a stop for Lynn to do her thing and she came out with a guy she said needed a ride to another place we had to go so I said ok. Getting crowded with people in the car but I;m lerning about her. Then her girlfriend sees one of her friends and asks if we can give him a ride too.

Now the car is full. Screwed around for 2 hours running what should have been a 15 minute errand. Finally got rid of the two guys and Lynn wanted to stop at her place. OK. She got out and said she'd be right back. Then she hollered for her GF to come in. In a minute her GF comes back out and says Lynn has to do something but her brother in law will bring her over in about 15 minutes and she starts gather up her stuff to haul it in the house for her.

She missed Lynns CD's so I honked at her to come back and get them. Meanwhile I'd been thinking about what I heard hauling them around and it didn't match with what Lynn had been telling me in private. I was also a lot irritated by the expectation I was going t be her private cab.

When she came back to get the CD's I told her to tell Lynn never mind coming over. Haven't seen her since.

Helps to know exactly what you want and will accept. She didn't meet my standards so adios baby.
She was hot, she was smart, she was a liar, she is gone. Life is that simple when you know what you will accept.

[gemwinds]

i didn't want to read on and on about this. but ultimately it has to do with your own boundary. it seems you may have holes and walls in your boundary, revolving around certain ideas or beliefs. Its great to have preferences, but when you say, i don't want a girl to do this to me.. or this or that. Seems like you date the young ones\weak ones because you have a higher power over them so they won't hurt you. Perhaps you have an idea about.. if i date a strong, mature women and she doesn't like what she see's she may leave me.. and then the hurt begins... the pain... the suffering. investigating deep beliefs is important for everyone. the ones that are in denial of are hard to remove. ive been there done that... its very doable with a strong conviction and determination to change.

[TLA]

Lol, one of the girls I dated for a few months, that I still talk to, told me if I want all that I need to date a better class of women.    She was so right and I know it. That's why I dropped Lynn right away instead of going on with her. I can't change them but I can change me and that's what I'm trying to do.

Most of the girls I date are dominant in their group and aren't weak at all. Unfortunately I'm dominant in my group so......They haven't learned yet that honesty, loyalty and reliability are important. They also think that because I treat them well they can take advantage of that. Understandable when you grow up where being nice is considered a weakness.

Oh well, had what I wanted once, a long time ago, and didn't realize it until a few years later.  It sucks when your body grows old and your mind doesn't.

OTOH most of the girls and I have the same problem. When people get to close push them away so they can't hurt you. I know I'll never find exactly what I wrote but they do have to be much closer than they have been. Ya got to kiss a lot of toads before you find a princess.

I'm also quite sure that I don't fit to many chicks qualifications for a long term relationship, either. Seems to me that females have a better idea in their minds about what they want in a guy than guys do about what they want in a woman. Most guys are happy with almost any chick that will sleep with them.

I learned years ago that sex isn't as important as I thought it was when I was younger. Getting along and being friends, having the same or similar values, being honest and reliable are more important to me than sex. So is intelligence. Sex is important but other things are more important.

So I'm alone but it beats all the drama. I did find it mildly amusing that even tho Lynn found me she was still the same type of girl I'd been dating. Getting girlfriends isn't a problem, getting the type I want is the problem for me. I don't know why I seem to attract those types but I do. Heh, I have a few years yet so if I find what I want, that's cool and if I don't I'll survive.

Thanks for the post tho. It does me me another perspective and something to think about.

[TLA]

Sheesh, all I've been running into lately are quite a bit overweight females who think they are gods gift to everyone just because they'll give up some pussy. Most have been quite irritated with me when I let then know that sex isn't my primary qualification and then they further disqualify themselves by showing even more stupidity.

I'll never get why saying no to someone doesn't work. It's like they don't understand simple english. What part of no, is there not to understand? It's a simple word and one they probably understood before they could actually talk.

I was talking to the bar owner the other day about some of the women that come into the place and we were both laughing at how desperate some of them are. Not desperate enough to lose weight, wear nice looking clothes or even wash their hair tho.

Lol, he did tell me my standards were probably to high for his place tho. So I asked him where I should go and he pretty much said to Little Rock or another bigger city where they have some culture and sophistication.

Letterman does a small town news bit now and then and one of them was an ad placed in an Arkansas newspaper, must have all your teeth, be able to speak in full sentences and wear shoes. Arghhh, before I came south I would have thought that was a BS ad but now I believe it.

Doesn't help that this is a dry county and the only place I'm used to meeting women is in bars. Found another requirement to add to my already long list and it's not even negotiable. If you are a woman and you chew tobacco ain't nothing gonna happen. Gives me an idea of how some chicks feel about people who smoke cigarettes.

Somewhere out there I KNOW there is a woman I'll have a relationship with but she won't be carrying around a cup to spit in. These haven't all been younger girls either. Some have been on their late 40's. At least most of the younger chicks I've met don't chew.

They have other bad habits that are also unacceptable. I did change my mind about only skinny chicks tho. Now it's just no really fat chicks, thick is okay. Met a coulple of really smart thick chicks and they convinced me to change it. Do some weed, I don't care, do some shrooms, I don't care, do crack, meth or coke or anything like it and it ain't happening. Drink to much and it ain't happening either. Just more things to add to my list.

[TLA]

Ya know it really shouldn't be that tough. I was talking to a guy here today who knows a lot of the local chicks and he asked what I was looking for in particular. Was a guy type discussion about women in geneal that started it all.

Anyway I said she had to be honest, reliable, smart enough to know that if she trys to scam me she'll get nothing and if she doesn't she will probably end up with a lot. Besides the not ugly, not to far overweight and the usual stuff guys want.

We were doing fine until the scam part and he said he dn't know anyone that smart. He was surprised when he came to that conclusion and realized even his girlfriend was a very short term thinker. Almost everyone is a short term thinker. At least it seems that way if they are under 30. It gets better as you get closer to my age.

Absolutely need to learn to be a long term thinker and logically follow things thru in your mind with whats going to happen if you choose option A, option B or Option C.

What's going to happen short term and what's going to happen long term. Lol, no, long term isn't the next hour, day or even week. It can be but not for this example. In my reality long term is months to years. Depends on what it is.

Very small short term gain against very large long term gain should be a no brainer but most people will always choose the short term. Even when they don't have to. They can't wait a few weeks and be gratified every other day but choose instant gratification and then hope they can find some more before this instant gratification wears off.

Heh, I don't know many long term thinkers either. Men, girls in their 20 or older women let alone for a relationship.

[TLA]

Lol, a couple of new things to add. No tobacco chewers and no one who uses crack, coke, heroin or meth. Hard drug users aren''t to be trusted and I don't really want to kiss some chick that just spit out her big chaw.

See, and you really thought I couldn't get fussier.